Wednesday 13 April 2011

MASTURBATION - A TABOO IN THE SOCIETY



WHAT IS MATURBATION
Masturbation is when people touch their own bodies for sexual pleasure. People masturbate in lots of different ways. Touching your own body for sexual pleasure is different for everyone, depending on what makes your body feel good. Thus, the form varies according to body. 

Males usually stroke or rub the 
penis or press their penis against a mattress. Females usually use their fingers to touch themselves on or near the clitoris, the sensitive bump above the opening of the vagina. Masturbation sometimes results in orgasm; sometimes it doesn't. 

Masturbation can be a great way to release sexual tension or desire without involving anyone else or risking 
pregnancy and diseases. People of all ages masturbate -- from infants to old people. Some people believe that masturbation is a normal, healthy thing for people to do. Some people believe that masturbation is wrong. You need to decide for yourself what you believe, and whether or not you want to experiment with touching your own body. If so, just make sure you have some privacy. 
THE PURPOSE OF MASTURBATION
The purpose of this page is to explain why masturbation can be detrimental to life and to encourage people to abandon the practice.  Granted, masturbation may bring temporary pleasure, but it often comes with the long-term cost of addiction and other sexual problems.  Because many people reading this page are not Christians, I've created a separate section for the spiritually-based points.  If you are a Christian, I encourage you to take a moment to ask God to show you the truth concerning masturbation. 
WHO IS INVOLVED
Just about everybody. Masturbation is a very common behavior, even among people who have sexual relations with a partner. In one national study, 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated. Masturbation is the first sexual act experienced by most males and females. In young children, masturbation is a normal part of the growing child's exploration of his or her body. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.
EFFECTS OF MASTURBATION
Masturbation plays a great role in a normal day-to-day sex life. Some of the people discover it when they were children because it starts to feel so good between their legs. Others are shown by their friends. Boys then continue to masturbate because it feels so good. It gets boys ready for mature sexual relationships when they reach their adulthood, and it helps boys taking care of those raging hormonal urges and surges when they are teenagers.
Masturbation can surely enhance mature sexual relationships where two partners use it as a prelude either to other sexual activity or as the main fare. In addition, it keeps men going when relationships weakens, such as when a partner is ill or away. It is a great equalizer in a relationship where one partner needs more sexual activity than the other does.
To define ‘too much masturbation’ is difficult because that depends. However, it is suggested that men should keep their ejaculation frequency down to twice or thrice a week. However, sexual activity can be experienced more than that only if men learn how to reach orgasm without ejaculating. Doing so can actually store bio-energy into his system and make the penis firmer, erections last longer, and the volume of the ejaculation will be more.
Masturbation is a part of life and the sexual practices in modern lifestyles. In fact, most of the sexual experts recommend that is will not only improve sexual experiences but it will also promote good general health. However, like most of things in life, anything too much is too bad. This is true here too. Excessive masturbation can results in some unwanted symptoms such as stress, fatigue, and memory loss. In worse cases, sufferers fall into the pitfalls of impotence and hair loss.
One recently published clinical report suggests, 87% of women and 95% of men had practiced masturbation—but when done to extreme, it caused drastic changes in brain and body chemistry. Too much masturbation can over-stimulate acetylcholine and parasympathetic nervous functions and therefore, disrupt the liver’s release of vital enzymes that synthesize neurotransmitters acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin. In addition, the liver’s ability to release enzymes that aid in hormone production can be affected result of which, the brain and adrenal glands will produce too much dopamine, norepinephrine, epinephrine, and other hormones and neural transmitters.
Symptoms of over masturbation, also called sexual exhaustion, are distressing liver and nervous system functions; include youthful impotence/erectile dysfunction (including a soft or weak erection) and seminal leakage. Since more than 30% of men have experienced impotence at one or other times in their lives, impotence in youth is rarer and can often be attributed to the previously described factors.
Over-masturbation can also cause problems such as seminal leakage that can cause sperm to ooze or leak out of the penis with no relation to erection of the organ. Both semen leakage and youthful impotence can embarrass and make person uncomfortable. These are the prime signs of sexual exhaustion.
Semen leakage is a sign that the parasympathetic nerve (which keeps the ejaculation valve shut and holds the erection) is being weakened because of over-masturbation. With this weakened nerve, it is difficult to remain erected.
THE ADVERSE EFFECTS OF SUCH CHANGES TO THE BODY INCLUDE:
  • One may feel fatigue or tired all the time
  • A man has lower back pain
  • He might face thinning hair or hair loss
  • He might be feeling soft or weak erection
  • He may suffer from the condition called premature ejaculation
  • He may have his eye flickering or fuzzy vision
  • He might be having groin or testicular pain
  • He might be feeling pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tailbone.
NON-SPIRITUAL POINTS ABOUT MASTURBATION
1. Masturbation is addictive!  Paul Strand advice anyone who doubts masturbation is addictive to see how many weeks or months they can go without masturbating.  We know now that sexual addictions are in fact self-induced drug addictions. The chemicals our bodies release during sexual arousal create the same effect on the brain as drugs.  Repeated masturbation reinforces a brain chemistry loop of addiction. (ref: Exposing Porn: Science, Religion, and the New Addiction, Paul Strand.  www.cbn.com, April 2004) As with drug addiction, masturbation requires an increasing amount of stimulus to achieve consistent levels of pleasure.  This can lead to both an increased frequency of the habit and a never-ending search for new material to enhance the experience. 
2. Masturbation conditions our bodies to respond to self-stimulation, which is self-cantered.  This damages our ability to relate to another person sexually.  Sex is a relational experience, where we give attention to another person's needs at least as much as to our own.   If we've been serving our own desires habitually, we may find it difficult to give our partner the attention he or she desires.   Additionally, the hormones released in the brain during sexual arousal cause a bonding to whatever we are looking at and/or thinking about at the time.  This can cause us to be more sexually responsive to masturbation (and its associated fantasies) than to real sex. 
3. Masturbation causes sexual imbalance:  Masturbation stirs up our sexual emotions and trains our bodies to seek sexual release more frequently than normal.  Common sense tells us that there should be a balance between sex and the other activities in our lives.  Masturbation disrupts that balance by training our bodies and minds to expect gratification more frequently than normal.  Like a feedback loop in an amplifier, the imbalance between reality and fantasy can likely drive a person further into the addiction. 
The sexual imbalance can also affect other areas of our lives by diverting energy, time and resources into sexual activity.  For example, a man stays up late each night to surf for porn to masturbate to.  His job performance suffers because he can't stay awake during the day, his family life sours because he's grouchy, his wife is alienated from him by his lack of affection and interest in her, and his debt increases because of the credit card charges from the porn sites he's visiting to feed his habit.
The people most likely to suffer from the imbalance are people who don't have a regular provision for sexual intimacy (e.g. teens, singles, divorced persons, widowed persons, persons in sexually dysfunctional marriages).  Ironically, these are the same people that may be strongly tempted to indulge in porn and masturbation.   If they whet their appetite by indulging, chances are that they could easily get hooked in the addictive cycle that the imbalance creates.
SPIRITUAL POINTS ABOUT MASTURBATION
For Christians, there are some important issues we need to address concerning masturbation.  The foundational question is, “Are you committed to honouring God with your life?"  If you are, then I urge you to carefully consider the points presented in this section.
Let’s first examine the typical sins that accompany masturbation: lust and sexual idolatry.  These may not be involved in every case, but they usually are. 

LUST
Definitions from Webster’s 9th New Collegiate Dictionary:
  • (n) Intense or unbridled sexual desire, lasciviousness...an intense longing: craving
  • (v) to have an intense desire or need, crave 
Obvious examples of lust during masturbation include looking at pornography and fantasizing about sex. As we can see from the definitions, lust can simply be an intense longing or craving.  It may not even be a conscious thought, but simply a gut feeling of the flesh.   
SEXUAL IDOLATRY
Definition of idolatry from Webster’s 9th New Collegiate Dictionary:
  • (n) Immoderate attachment or devotion to something
Definitions of idol from Webster’s 9th New Collegiate Dictionary:
  • A likeness of something
  • A form or appearance; visible but without substance
  • An object of extreme devotion
  • A representation or symbol of an object of worship
  • A false conception; fallacy
When we look at porn or form sexual images by memory or imagination during masturbation, we are basically feeding an immoderate attachment or devotion to the idol of sex.  Such attachment and devotion is greatly reinforced by the pleasurable brain chemicals released during sexual arousal and orgasm.  
Idolatry is sin (Exodus 20:3-5) and it can bring unpleasant consequences, such as demonic oppression and generational curses.  God's primary command to us is that we love him with all our heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:36-38).  I suggest that it is impossible to love God with all our heart, soul and mind when we are idolizing sex images in our eyes and thoughts!  
Having discussed lust and sexual idolatry, we can now explore the spiritual impact of masturbation.  
1. Masturbation causes you to be "mastered" by sin:  The Bible says that there are only two things that we can be a slave to:  sin or righteousness.  There are no other masters.  Paul wrote:
Do you not know that if you yield yourselves to any one as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? Romans 6:16 NKJV
Which master does masturbation bring us under?  In almost every case, it is used to complement sins of lust or sexual idolatry and will therefore enslave us to sin.
God does not want us to be mastered by sin.  For example, he told Cain, "If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it" (Genesis 4:7 NKJV).  Cain failed and sin ruled him for the rest of his life.  After killing his brother, he lost his job, his peace, his home, and his blessing and spent the rest of his days as a "restless wanderer" (Genesis 4:12). 
Likewise, we have the same opportunity to choose our master.   If we choose sin as our master, our life will bear the fruit that sin brings - i.e. destruction, sorrow, dissatisfaction, death, etc..  If we choose righteousness as our master, we will reap life!  Paul wrote:
When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 6:20-23 NIV
2. Masturbation uses your body as an instrument for sin:  Your body is to be presented and used as an instrument for righteousness, not sin.  Paul wrote:
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead and your members as instruments of righteousness to God Romans 6:12-13 NKJV
God can best use us when we keep our "vessels" (body, soul & spirit) free of sin.  Paul wrote: 
In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:20-22 NIV
It is our responsibility to cleanse ourselves from sinful motives and purposes with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Practicing masturbation is the exact opposite of fleeing evil desires because it involves setting our minds on the evil desires and using our bodies to act them out.  In so doing, we are hindering the usefulness of our vessels for God.  
3. Masturbation defiles God's temple and grieves the Holy Spirit:  As believers in Jesus Christ, our bodies are literally temples for God's Holy Spirit, who lives in us.  Sexual sin is unique in that it damages this special union we have with God.  Paul alluded to this when he wrote that sexual sin is sinning against our own bodies ((1 Corinthians 6:18).  He even compared it to trying to unite Jesus with a prostitute (1 Corinthians 6:15-16).  Since masturbation rehearses sexual sins (e.g. lust or sexual idolatry), it will likewise damage our relationship with God and defile his temple (our bodies).  
God commands us to "honour God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:20 NIV).  This is a form of spiritual worship that we do physically: 
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."   Romans 12:1-2 NIV
4. Masturbation reinforces "carnal-mindedness":   Masturbation sets our minds on gratifying our sinful desires and in so doing we become "carnally minded."  Paul wrote:
Live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want Galatians 5:16-17 NIV
Carnal-mindedness destroys our life and peace and keeps us from pleasing God.  Paul wrote:
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.  So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God Romans 8:5-8 NKJV 
5. Masturbation brings you into deception and corruption:  Masturbation opens the door to the deceiving influences of lust.   Paul wrote about this deceit in Ephesians 4:22-24 NKJV
Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. 
Embracing lust or sexual idolatry through masturbation will therefore hinder any progress we want to make in becoming the "new man" God created us to be (2 Corinthians 5:17).  Our repeated practice of lust through masturbation will also bring about a "hardening" of our spiritual heart toward God (Hebrews 3:13).  This could ultimately cause us to turn away from God completely.
6.  Masturbation moulds your mind into the world’s pattern of thinking:  The world’s pattern is largely based on lust (1 John 2:15-17).   Masturbation rehearses lust in our thoughts and reinforces it with physical pleasure.  Using pornography or recalling sex memories while masturbating further ingrains the world’s pattern in our thoughts.
The consequence of embracing the world's pattern (i.e. the pleasures of sin), is that we will block God’s love from operating in and through us:
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world. 1 John 2:15-17 NKJV
God wants us to no longer conform to the world’s pattern of thinking, but be transformed in our thinking:
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will .Romans 12:2 NIV.


OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Masturbation is a quickly-forming habit that can adversely affect both men and women of all ages. Despite what some might tell you, masturbation is not harmless. If you are trying to overcome masturbation, be assured that it is possible (even though, like any habit, it may take some work). If you are determined to do it, you will be able to. This page will give you some tips that can help you along the way.
Determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind you will have the strength to resist temptations which will come to you.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal washing and using the bathroom.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company, especially when you are feeling particularly weak.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. After you bathe, don't admire yourself in the mirror. Stay in the shower just long enough to clean yourself. Then dry off and GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
5. When in bed (especially if that is where you masturbate), wear pajamas or other clothes so that you cannot easily touch yourself (and so that it would be difficult to remove those clothes. The time it takes to remove your clothing gives additional time to controll your thinking and overcome the temptation).
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED! Go into the kitchen and make a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never look at pornography on the internet or elsewhere. Never read about your problem (even on sites claiming to be "educational"). Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books, scriptures, talks of church leaders. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for members of your family who need help. Pray for your friends, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVEN IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT OUT of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behaviour, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated

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